Tuesday, March 13

Newbie on the Job

I've gotten several calls in the past couple of weeks to substitute at the kids' school as a classroom aide. It hasn't worked out so far until today when I got called to go in from 11am to 2:30. Incidentally I was working in Little Chic's class and upon arrival, not only did I find out I was subbing for the aide, the two classroom teachers were out as well and there were subs for each of them. A day like that makes this perfectionist half tempted to pull my kids out and home school them myself.

The kids were actually well-behaved considering the lack of continuity but the main substitute teacher for the day - well - let's just say that apparently being a warm body is the main qualification to substitute teach. I speak loosely when I say "warm body" as she was quite elderly, she spoke so low that the kids could hardly hear a word she said and she had a whole collection of annoyed looks to use every time a student answered a question incorrectly. At one point, I honestly thought she was dozing atop her perch on the stool.

Now frankly, I'm not officially qualified to substitute teach for lack of a bachelor's degree, but I tell you, I had to hold myself back to keep from yanking the science lesson out of her hands and doing a proper job myself. I am positive that I could have piqued some nine-year-old interest in cumulus, stratus and cirrus clouds and had them remember the lesson for the day.

The scary thing is that this particular substitute has been in Little Chic's classroom quite a bit this year - I think I've discovered the reason that Little Chic has had no clue about how to do several of her homework assignments. I'm not sure I'm going to last long in this job - I may have to take over something if I spend much more time watching retired people who don't particularly like children get paid $100 a day for babysitting.

The most satisfying part of the day was when said substitute admonished a boy for not remembering their discussion about the metric system and totally confused the class by insisting that a kilometer is a much further distance than a mile. She didn't quite know what to say when I pointed out that a 5K race is only 3.1 miles.

4 of Your THINKS:

Debbie said...

Oh my goodness!!! I'm sorry to say this made me giggle, ok just a teensy weensy bit... In all honesty, it's not a laughing matter and I was hoping to read in hear how you rescued the class right back and you did just that. :o)

Mary Ellen said...

Where in the world is the teacher that she needs a substitute most of the time - they should look for a new teacher! When I was in 8th grade we had an elderly substitute, someone threw a booklet up into the paddle fan (who knows why) and it landed upside down between the ladies glasses and her face. It was awful but also hysterically funny.

Your last sentence was my favorite!

Rochelle said...

Somebody need to send her back to remedial math class!

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, I didn't know you started aiding, that is SOOO awesome! You should really say something to Caroline's teacher. Sometimes they hand pick their subs, I hope Mrs. Stevenson didn't! She would probably want to know!