Thinks By Me

We skidded into our NY driveway at 10pm, a mere 11.5 hours after hauling out of the NC one at 10:30am. We included a precious few pit stops into our journey, and the wee ones were real troopers. We did indulge in a little Bojangles for lunch along with some much-missed Cheerwine a couple of quick combination fuel/bathroom/food stops and that was about it. Brainy Boy suffered through it by watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy that Uncle lent him and Little Chic used her new Nintendo DS to diligently train her new NintenDog who had graduated puppy training by day's end. I passed the time by doing some admiring of my new laptop until motion sickness set in and then did a little snoozing in a less than comfortable position. Hero Guy fared best by having total control of the steering wheel (and thus the radio and temperature gauge) and we all pulled in with surprisingly good attitudes. HyperDog was thrilled to see her family back although she did enjoy a bit of a vacation...

Dear Santa, Will Dasher lead the slay next year? Do you have a magic watch that can stop time or slow it down? Tell dasher hese my favrite. Do you know Tiana M or Erin S? My brother doesn't beleave. a bealver, Little Chic PS. I hope you like your cokies. I left a carot for each reindeer and 1 for you. My favrite animal is a cat. My favrite color is blue. Dear Little Chic, I'm fine if Dasher leads next year. I'll tell Dasher, don't worry. Want to know a secret? Dasher's my favorite too. Of course I've got a magic watch. Actually I've got two of them in case one breaks. Tiana and Erin? Yes, I know who they are. Are they friends of yours? I know your brother doesn't believe. That's his choice, I guess. Don't you worry. I love your cookies. Also my reindeer love carrots. My favorite animal is the reindeer obviously, and my favorite color is green. Let me take this time to complement you on your cat. It's so well-behaved. ...

I wrote this script for our live nativity at church, trying to capture the thoughts of what the various characters might have been thinking as they experienced Jesus' birth. It's a story that we've all heard a million times, and I find that 2000 years later, many people think of the Christmas story as a fable or a folk tale. Sometimes it's difficult to really grasp the fact that this story really happened, and it happened to regular, ordinary people like you and me. Our nativity on Christmas Eve attempted to bring the story back to life and help each of us connect ourselves with the people that were around during the time when the event actually happened. I wrote the script on request--it's definitely out of my comfort zone to do dramatic writing for a public audience like this was, but hopefully it will make the meaning of Christmas more personal for you as well. Mary’s Reflections I am but a girl who intended to marry a man and eventually start a family togethe...

From our family to yours - Wishing you a Christmas Eve filled with the Spirit of the only reason we have to celebrate--the arrival of the Messiah, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Said in a high-pitched fakey, sugar-sweet voice "O, have I just died and gone to Heaven?" Said by little Chic during our excursion to get her Christmas dress as she finds just exactly what she wants. You have no idea just how far from my own personality that is...Don't know where she gets all that drama. Must be from her dad. Pic is from her school class Christmas party today.

MonsterPaw is trying her best to figure out where Santa hid that catnip she asked for! She denies it, saying that she is only trying to help wrap presents, but we all know the truth...

It's always a little strange to have 'vacationers' at home during the school year. Those would be the people who aren't usually keeping me company during the daytime school hours (like Hero Guy when he is on vacation from work, or the kids when they are on holiday breaks). The hardest part about it is that the regular routine gets interrupted and I get all discombobulated. This morning I attempted to keep on schedule, sitting on my bed having quiet time reading my Bible after the kids were gone to school. It's especially difficult to stay focused when Hero Guy is home, because, well--here's an example. While I was minding my business, Hero Guy was entertaining himself by putzing around the house enjoying a day off work. He disappeared into the bathroom where he keeps his handy-dandy binoculars (for spying on deer out the back window) and proceeded to peer off our top balcony at some unfortunate woman who was having car trouble on the road in front of our ho...

Why is it that every female head of household that I know, is running frantically like a hen being chased by a wolf as the days whittle down to the BIG ONE? Why is it that the children of those same females are gleefully pronuncing, "Christmas is in only five days!!" as if their moms are calm and organized with everything done? And why is it that the male partners of those females (be they husbands, boyfriends, dads or brothers) are saying "What stress? What needs to be done? I'm not stressed, why are you stressed?" ?? As of now, if it doesn't get done, it's not getting done, and I'm committed to being OKAY with it. Well, that is except for the remainder of the shopping to do tomorrow, the school classroom party on Friday, the wrapping on Saturday, the singing at two services in church on Sunday....all except for that.

I realized after reading a post from my own personal Cupid (the high school pal who was a cousin to my own Hero Guy and introduced the two of us) that it's been a year since a group of family and friends started blogging to keep up to date with one another. Before that, I didn't even know what a blog was. Anyway, Cupid posted a hilarious summary of some of the crazy stuff you find in your email box. It is especially funny to me, because I'm such a skeptic (I prefer the term, "realist") that I don't believe even the stuff that turns out to be true per Snopes! So here's to plagiarism... SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about t...

I come from a fairly musical family and we all enjoy singing, some of us playing an instrument, and generally surrounding ourselves with tunes most of the time. In an effort to keep the passion alive, I have immersed my kids in musical experiences, taking them to Kindermusik as tots, having them join Kid's Choir at church and I've even suggested taking instrument lessons themselves. Little Chic has fully embraced this idea since she pretty much has a song and a jig going inside her brain 24/7. Brainy Boy, on the other hand, loves to hear music, likes to sing, but does it all in his own time. The discipline associated with going to choir practice or playing an instrument does not interest him at all. Now, I'm not the type of parent to force my interests on others, so this year since Brainy Boy is 10 and in 5th grade, I allowed him to opt out of the children's choir at church, and he is no longer required to be in chorus at school. He does still have a general music...

Most kids want to grow up, and Little Chic especially yearns to "get bigger". I tell her there are benefits to being small, short, little or whatever you want to call the kid-state. Only a 9 year old can get away with having best girlfriend come to spend the night, don bathing suits and take a dip in the jacuzzi tub.

This video is one of the most profoundly simple explanations I've ever seen about what it means to have New Life. Thanks to old High School buddy for turning me on to it.

Just in the nick of time, the 2006 Weblog awards came to a close. I was feeling quite chipper for the first half of voting, as I remained strongly in the #5 position. It became much less satisfying to see my stats as the days dragged on seeing myself slip to #6, then #7 and at one point, #8. Luckily the votes were tallied and I tied for 8th,9th,10th with 2 other bloggers (that's face-saving speak for "tied for last place"). The judges were kind enough to place my name in the first of the losing spots, so that I can trick myself into believing I wasn't the least popular. But were it not for all you friendly types who check my goings on every day, I wouldn't have even been in the running. So thank you for the 144 clicks of affirmation that you all gave me for the past 10 days, admitting to the world that you humor me by reading my ramblings. My consolation prize is that I get to keep that snazzy little button forever. I probably won't even take it out, wel...

The hustle and bustle at this time of year is infamous. I, like every other person in modern-day America, promise that I am going to shop online, am going to get my errands and mailing done early, and am going to sit back and relax throughout the season approaching Christmas. Of course I never do, and today was no different. I headed to the Post Office with arms overloaded at 8am this morning, praising myself for beating the mad Monday rush (the 18th of course will be heralded as the busiest mailing day of the year). I had a dilemma about how to get my too-many packages into the building and up to the counter. Should I even attempt to carry them all at once? (even half the load was near impossible). Should I take in half, and speak to the nice counter woman explaining that I have another load and could I please deposit half the load in a safe spot while I run to the van for the second armload? Should I carry half inside, deposit it in line to hold my place and then dash back out ...

Apparently Hero Guy was more perturbed than I realized about me not letting him wear his cowboy hat to the country music concert we went to Saturday night. This medic outfit is what he was wearing when he showed up at church on Sunday evening for Little Chic's children's choir performance! Oh, ok--the truth. He was on medic duty. But you have to admit, the first story sounded better.

Life brings with it lots of experience and if you pay attention, you can learn some really good lessons. Some of the stuff I'd forgotten and have been reminded of this week: 1) "Uh-huh" does not qualify as a "yes" from your kids. More than likely it means "I'm watching Sponge Bob and something (I have no idea what) is making a really annoying noise, but saying "uh-huh" makes it stop." 2) If your computer never crashes, it will - Just as you finish entering all the numbers in that new budgeting program you're trying out. 3) If your husband never drives your vehicle, he will suddenly need to - But only when you have been shopping with the kids who have been eating in your car all day. This will elicit a comment about how terrible it is that you allow your car to be a pigpen ALL the time. 4) You can't go by the calorie counter on those high-tech treadmills. One day, a 3.5 mile run will burn 500 calories, and the next day, at...

School projects were never my thing. I dreaded the Science Fair. I hated the bug collection. I actually tolerated research projects and book reports but only because I liked reading and enjoyed digging for information. But attach a display or something that you had to build to the requirements and I was out. I'd put the thing off until the very last minute and then try to scramble the entire family into panic mode to bail me out. Now Hero Guy, on the other hand, adores projects and loves fiddling with all the details. He helps plan and construct to the point that I have to slap his hands lest our wee ones not get proper credit for doing enough work. As luck would have it, our project days are not over. I now have 2 kids of school age and both get projects from their regular classes as well as the enrichment program they are in. I got the glad tidings today that Little Chic will have a longhouse project due on January 3. The teacher has kindly given 'ample' time t...

My sis has always said that Hero Guy was born wishing he were a redneck. He has quite an eclectic taste in music and although he does like classic rock, contemporary Christian and mellow worship music, he's really a country music fan. I think he likes it not so much for the way it sounds, but because there is a costume that is associated with that genre. Although country & western has never been my favorite, Hero Guy has chiseled away at my resistance and tonight we are going to see Little Big Town, a group that I've actually come to enjoy. I was looking forward to the evening until Hero Guy started asking me what I'm going to wear. This was an immediate red flag because he never thinks about his attire unless we are walking out the door and I tell him that neither his C*ville Fire Department T-shirt nor his medic suit are appropriate choices for the holiday party we've been invited to. And he certainly doesn't think about what I'm wearing, especially ...

While getting ready to say bedtime prayers Wednesday night, Brainy Boy (10 years old) informed me that he has the ability to control his own dreams. "So how does that work?", I asked. He looked at me like this was something I should totally know already, he nonchalantly explained, "I just use reverse psychology on my subliminal characters." I expressed my doubt reminding him "If that were so, you wouldn't need to come into our bedroom at night when you have a scary dream. You could just write your dream in a different way that wouldn't scare you." Disgusted with my question of his logic he told me "Ma, I only came into your bed back when I was still at the mercy of my brain power." So there you have it.

Note To The Masses: I realize that I am a peon in the scheme of humanity. I also realize that my wit quotient is about a paragraph long - maybe two on good days. I further realize that I live in small town America and some might find my life, well, mundane. That's why placing in the TOP 10 for BEST DIARIST in the 2006 Weblog Awards is a big deal to me. So here it is. If you are so inclined, you can vote for me once a day until December 15. If you're curious, it will even tell you how badly I'm being outvoted. If you don't see this topic ever mentioned again, it will be safe to assume that I didn't win. Seriously, considering that I started this blog a year ago just for fun and subsequently got hooked, it's pretty amazing that I'm even included in the line up. And life goes on.

Who Knew? The category I'm nominated in is Best Diarist. Apparently voting starts on Thursday, but since I have no idea how it all works, I can't give you much direction on how best to help catapult me to fame. So just go to the Weblog Awards site tomorrow and figure out how to vote. For Me. For Best Diarist. I'll mention your name in my speech. Heehee.

The trip to the Big Apple was exciting as could be expected. 5:30 am came much earlier than expected being the morning glory I am not. I did chug an extra cup of coffee and that helped sustain me till we arrived for our 11am show. The Rockettes were pretty unbelievable and the live nativity at the closing scene was indescribable. It brought lots of the audience to tears. Some of the highlights were the Macy's famous Christmas window display, the gaggle of people waiting sale of the Wii at the Toys R Us in Times Square (the store that has a ferris wheel inside) and of course, the tree in the Rockefeller Center which was the #1 thing on my "To See" list. Notably, I did very little shopping, and spent less than $50 (not counting the show tickets and the bus fare) which I have to say, I'm feeling quite smug about. But the hubub and atmosphere was worth the 4.5 hour drive and I'll probably be making the trek every Christmas from now on. The deli we found for lun...

Over the years, Hero Guy and I have 'shared' responsibility in keeping our financial books in order--he likes to be the one officially in charge, but the fact that his work schedule is very unreliable and I have an irresistible urge for controlling things, we volley back and forth for the responsibility depending on what's going on in our lives. The problem is that when 2 people each think the other is doing the job, it rarely gets done well. Thus, I recently volunteered for the task of coordinating Financial Peace University for our church (only because coordinating involves pushing the "Play" button on the DVD player) so I have been doing most of the entering, tracking and analyzing of our spending so I feel a bit more put together when the class begins on January 10. I volunteered for this job because I really see finances as being a huge stress in many of the married couples I know, and I could really use some organization help and motivation in this area a...

I'm thinking that the 60 mph winds and possible tornados today will not deal kindly with the garland and bows I strung on my porch yesterday. And I did such a nice job too, using that handy staple gun on my own. This is notable because I don't think I've ever put up garland and bows before, so I'm bummed. I am cheering myself up by thinking about the bus trip I am taking to NYC on Monday. It will be my first time ever to see the city at Christmas. I'm happy now!

This site is a karaoke lover's dream. Very fun. You do realize I'm sacrificing my own pride in order to further the singing pleasure for the rest of you!

Since I love reading, I thought this was a pretty cool quiz, stolen from my friend, P. What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two. Dedicated Reader Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm Fad Reader Book Snob Non-Reader What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.

I have been informed that MonsterPaw is highly offended at the size of her Christmas stocking as compared to the one owned by HyperDog. If I remember right, last year we made a mad dash to CVS drug store because it was MonsterPaw's first Christmas with us and we had overlooked the need for her to have a stocking, thus the less than optimum size. I think Little Chic's stocking may have hosted some of the mousy toys Santa left since MonsterPaw's was a bit teeny. It appears that we'll be fixing this little problem to make things a bit more fair, or Little Chic is bound to fret for the next 25 days.

It broke my heart, but I threw away the lasting remnants of Thanksgiving dinner. Right into the garbage can, I did. Dumped that sweet potato casserole with the brown sugar topping, pitched that gravy and even the mashed potatoes. I just had to because I was eating all of it. By myself. And my scale was hating me and my body was feeling every one of those extra pounds when I rejoined my workout partners yesterday. You will notice that I waited until I had polished off all the macaroni and cheese as well as the remaining pie slices that were left when my family departed on Saturday. And I don't really even like pie that much. That's the problem with Thanksgiving dinner...it's just for eating, and eating, and eating.

I realize I have been unblogged for seven straight days. That must be a record for me. It is because I was living in the land of overachievement and superwoman status. I am happy to report that I have returned. The real me is back, including the floor that needs to be vacuumed and the laundry hamper that is overflowing while I am doing something more fun. I will give myself credit for volunteering for an hour at school this morning, working out (after a 10-day hiatus with that as well), getting groceries, buying supplies for Brainy Boy's school project and making a feeble attempt to begin putting things back in order after the house guests before I crashed. I will also say that my Christmas decorations are not up and I do not have even a smidgen of a plan of when they will rear their little heads out of their storage bins. I did enjoy having my fall decor up nice and early though, so maybe I can muster what's left of any gumption I might have and git 'er done by the ...

The funniest thing that happened today: Watching 7 college kids go through Walmart buying their Thanksgiving groceries together debating whether or not Kraft shells & cheese was an appropriate side dish for such a special dinner and then seeing them horrified to learn that a party of their friends had just checked out and gone over their food budget and had to put some of their groceries back. The grossest thing that happened today: After returning from my trip to Walmart, I attempted to help HyperDog retrieve her toy from under the couch (she was pawing and whining for it) only to discover it was a real, live mouse cowering under the couch. I lifted up one end of the couch, HyperDog dashed under and took care of our little "problem" in a flash. The most rewarding thing that happened today: I used the staple gun for the very first time, ran out of staples and I took myself down to the hardware store and bought a new box of the right kind of staples - imagine that. This...

If I were intelligent, I would spread my posts out for the week, rather than cramming them in one night. But at special request from my digital scrapbooking hero, here is a cranberry spread that I got from my sister, who is my home entertaining hero. The spread has been a hit both times I made it. 8 oz cream cheese, 1 Tbs orange juice, 1/3 cup pecans or walnuts. Mix these 3 ingredients together. 1-1/2 cups fresh cranberries coarsely chopped 4 green onions (scallions) 1 heaping Tbs canned jalepenos chopped 1-1/4 cup sugar 2 tsp ginger 3-4 Tbs fresh cilantro Mix the second batch of ingredients together and refrigerate for 4 hours, THEN combine with the first set of ingredients. Top with cranberries and cilantro, serve with crackers.

One of the bonuses I got from the Home Party Expo yesterday was a free sample of a peppermint foot soak and peppermint foot lotion from the Body Shop at Home girls. I hadn't intended to use it, but around 9:30 my aching feet saw the little sample jars and spurred me to fill a dish pan with hot water while I sorted through the dozens of recordings that Brainy Boy has programmed on to our new DVR (which we are getting for a 3 month free trial and we are loving it, I might add). No doubt we'll be paying the extra $5 a month for that come January 2007 since we'll be hooked by then. But back to the subject--my feet felt totally cool and refreshed as I headed off to bed, and HyperDog's breath smelled the same as when she chews through Hero Guy's pants pocket to scavenge his Polar Ice gum. Apparently the peppermint foot soak tastes as good as it feels. But you'll have to ask her about that since sipping foot soak water is her department.

THIS has got to be one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time, in part because I can totally relate to it! Let's toast to all those people out there who detest getting those email forwards that go on and on and on..... Thanks to Hero Guy's cousin, Mary, who forwarded me this little tidbit ;) She would also the the same Mary who introduced me to my Dearly Beloved all those years ago. You just never know what you're gonna get out of a friendship!

Extra things TO DO BEFORE NOVEMBER 18: 2 Parent Teacher conferences - check Coordinate MOMs group meeting - check Attend Thursday night Bible study - check Enroll participants for financial class at church for the next 4 Sundays - check Planning meeting at church for Christmas Eve - check Baby Shower for friend - check Take kids to Family Bingo at school - check Let kids have sleepover with school friends - check Visit Brainy Boy's bud in hospital after appendectomy - check Take snacks to 100 5th graders on state testing days - check Have 2nd appointment for Flu Shot study (and also get my $100) - check Sing at Christian Women's Association - check Coordinate MOMs group meeting (again) - check Coordinate Home Party Expo - check Shop for Thanksgiving - check Have kids home for 4 half days and 1 full day off school - check Wonder why I've had to skip kickboxing for the last 3 classes? But now it's really going to get busy because I can finally focus on Thanksgiving and t...

Why is it that when overnight guests are coming, I'm compelled to buy 2 new shower curtains AND liners, 2 new bathroom rugs, new tablecloth, a new set of sheets.....must I go on? This doesn't even take in to account the freshly painted walls and the 3 poster-sized prints I ordered of three photos I took AND the frames they need to go with them (although I must say the pictures are quite attractive). And we can't forget the numerous curtains and rods I've already put up as well as the picture frames that no longer match my new paint and are sitting in the basement waiting for the coats of spray paint to dry. Maybe it's just that I'm not a detail girl and I don't notice that things need freshened up before they begin to look shabby - Nah, that's not it. I'm obsessed with the most minute details. Maybe it's that I'm frugal and I'll do without so that I can save a few bucks? I wish I could say that was the truth. I'm forced to admit t...

I have always loved home parties - you know the kind where you visit somebody's house and a consultant will be selling the latest kitchen gadget, skin care product or scrapbooking supply? I'm a catalog fiend anyway, and I love to browse every catalog that comes into my mailbox. I'm not typically a hoarder, but those catalogs really like my house and they usually stick around a while. Although I love looking, I tend to go for the authentic buying experience, so stores are generally my preference....except that home parties offer the best of both worlds--they have those glossy catalogs that make everything look so irresistible, but you actually get to see the product before you order it. Last fall, I came up with the brilliant (and at the time, I thought it was original) idea of holding a mammoth home party show around holiday time in my kids gymnasium at school. I figured it would be an opportunity for those consultants to get their names out and for us customers to see ...

My painting project has come to a temporary close until after the holidays, and I must say I am feeling quite self-satisfied at this point. Hero Guy did supply the initial impetus to get started, and he lent some manpower to the painting of the living room (and I will also give him credit for installing two curtain rods in the living room windows because I didn't trust myself in that high visibility area). However, Me, Myself & I painted the entryway, the dining room and the hallway, removed and reinstalled all outlet covers, did all the taping and un-taping, spray painted two 16 x 20 picture frames, went on innumerable runs to Lowe's and even bought a couple of replacement face plates for light switches and/or outlet covers which had never been installed in the first place. These are all things I would have previously waited on to have help. Just to prove I could, I finished the project by installing not 1, not 2, BUT 4 curtain rods my very own self, causing me yet again...

I was happy to see Hero Guy pull in tonight, not just because we missed him while he was away for 5 days, but also to have him investigate the whereabouts of the mouse that kept me awake for the last two nights. I had a suspicion the critter was in the vicinity of this particular outlet as HyperDog and MonsterPaw stayed busy all night sniffing and poking around. Sure enough, this is what we found when we took off the outlet cover. Hero Guy was a bit disappointed that the mouse had opted to electrocute itself rather than be shot between the headlights by the BB gun .

It would seem that the hunter has been successful yet again. Hero Guy left on Wednesday morning, heading to the Adirondack mountains for a wilderness fix. He was going under the guise of hunting, but the area is so remote and monstrously big, it's possible to go for a week and never see game. But not this guy. He called to report that he shot a seven-point buck, the first deer anyone has shot in the area this season. He is over-collecting in the accolade department, so I may need to relegate him to the garage if he begins to get obnoxious. Luckily he's already gotten a bigger trophy this year, so #1, we will not be paying to have this head stuffed and #2, this seriously shortens hunting season for him. Yeah on both accounts.

What I Planned: To skip the Bible study that I am loving ( Breaking Free by Beth Moore ) to let my two favorite kids have their two favorite friends sleep over and taking my 2 plus their 2 Best Friends Forever to family Bingo to support the school PTA. Bonus points - Doing this all alone since Hero Guy is in the Primitive Forrest tracking down additional trophies. What I Got: A blue Bingo marker "explosion" by the girl BFF which caused the demolition of 2 winter jackets, 2 pair of pants (one bought new today), 1 favorite shirt. In addition, the five of us returned to my house with very stained arms and hands. As my luck would have it, all ruined articles of clothing except for one winter jacket belonged to my own children. Why is that?! Please excuse my while I go and gaze at the soothing new green paint on my living room walls. PS-Believe me, I would have posted pictures except that Hero Guy took my camera into the deep woods while he's stalking the big bad wolf.

Hero Guy, being the avid sportsman that he is, had to have at least one offspring share his enthusiasm for hunting. Brainy Boy can't be bothered sitting in a tree stand for hours on end when you can't chat about the funniest Dilbert comic you just read. He has gladly passed all his camouflage to Little Chic and she readily accompanies Hero Guy whenever he'll let her. On this particular Saturday trip, they did not see a deer. But they did see a small bobcat. That's pretty unusual around these parts, although not unheard of. The best part for Little Chic is that "Bobcat" is MonsterPaw's given name so she was thrilled to see the real namesake for our own family pet. Hero Guy was thrilled to have an opportunity to gloat about seeing such a sight in the wild. And they didn't even get a picture.

I've missed sharing my feeble attempts at wit & wisdom with you for the past couple of days, but I'm getting too much enjoyment out of the fresh coat of paint my living room got and now I'm on a spree. I'm a veritable painting machine, going for a bucket of deep plumb tomorrow to freshen up my scarred dining room walls. Anyway, I haven't been alone while doing the sprucing. MonsterPaw has been keeping me company while I'm painting....warming every last extra toe of hers in front of the fire.

Depressing: Def., "Realizing that you and your Dearly Beloved are entirely to close to wearing the same pant size. Case in point - Hero Guy came ' har har-ing' out of the bedroom relating that he had accidentally been wearing a pair of my jeans for the last 15 minutes. He wondered why they felt so weird (translated - TIGHT) until he took them off and inspected the tag. He gloated that at least he knows he can fit into a Ladies Size ___ (you really think I'm going to tell you the number?!). My Observations: 1) He had a MONSTER wedgie, so the jeans were entirely too small for him. 2) They are my "fat" jeans, a size bigger than what I actually wear, but I just like the broken-in feeling of them. Or the roominess or something. 3) They were the stretchy kind of jeans, so an elephant could have painted itself into them. 4) What's he bragging about having a girlish figure for anyway? Not very macho if you ask me. Hmph.

Hero Guy and I have a few straggling rooms in our house with the original 11-year-old paint on them, which is not a pretty sight considering that when we moved in I insisted on everything being white. I was protesting against living in a log house so I was determined to keep the interior as modern and non-country looking as possible with the all open floor plan and large expanses of white walls. Many of our rooms have since been painted but our living room, which we really didn't use much until the last few years, was one of them. It was getting to the embarrassing point, especially considering the non-washable surface of flat paint (who knows who chose that particular finish--not me!) Anyway, at the first hint that Hero Guy might be willing to actually help me paint today, I dashed around all day Thursday and Friday gathering supplies and only making one boo-boo with a quart of paint that turned out to be the WRONG color. That's quite an accomplishment for procrastinator su...

This Longtail "T" was the featured product in the Deluth Trading Company catalog I got yesterday. It's a real lifesaver for plumbing customers everywhere. The description goes "Sharing a little too much information? In 2002, in the cause of modesty and good taste we introduced the Longtail "T"....solving an age-old problem: The infamous, much feared Plumber's Butt. The kicker is that it comes in a bucket labeled "Crack Spackle". Whew, problem solved!

One of my favorite bonuses of having children (a bonus being something you never realized was going to be a pleasant part of parenting) is the post-Trick Or Treat ritual of candy sorting. I'm sure all households go through this, although some may call it by another name. It happens under the guise of "helping" your child sort through and categorize the candy they've gotten in the order of its desirability. The key rule is that this must be done while the child is not home. My sorting piles looked like this: Pile 1: Little Chic loves this candy so much she has inventoried it and will totally notice if I eat even one. In this pile were two full sized candy bars! Who gives those? Pile 2: I love this candy so much that I'll stop at the drug store to replenish the supply if Little Chic notices I ate one. This pile includes Twix, Snickers, M&M...well, half the haul anyway. Pile 3: Not chocolate Pile 4: Anything homemade - nobody is allowed to eat. Pile 5: ...

The cost of a white sweat suit: $10 The cost of paint supplies $5 Hours it takes to paint a tiger suit: 4 Satisfaction of wearing your very own creation for Halloween: Priceless Little Chic was determined since summertime to be a snow tiger (she corrects me saying it's a Siberian tiger). I casually looked for a redi-made costume and decided on a white sweat suit instead. I had a bit of a time finding white in the north after Labor Day, but my shopping prowess made it possible. I offered to help paint the stripes but she would have none of it. She did it totally on her own. We found ears, nose and tail and she was thrilled with the outcome. Hero Guy and Little Chic went on a trick-or-treat bender while Brainy Boy pretended to be too mature for such frivolity and stayed home with me. He did take full advantage of the treats Little Chic brought home for him. One bummer--a few people called her a zebra. How annoying. She just growled at them.

As Little Chic has been busy at work on all her projects, Brainy Boy has also been busy. This year he has blossomed into quite the accomplished writer as his teacher has been assigning one essay after another. He regularly reminds us that he is indeed pretty much the smartest kid in his class, proven because all the other kids tell him so. He also takes great pleasure in using vocabulary that no one else is familiar with. I take the responsibility to remind him periodically that there is no monopoly on genius and there is enough intelligence to go around for all of us. In any case, he continues to confound Hero Guy and I as to where his brains could have possibly come from. He's 10 and in 5th grade. Here's his most recent essay describing how to do something. How to Build a Secret Underground Fort: If you are reading this essay you are about to build the best underground fort ever. You might ask "Why do I want to build a secret underground fort? Well, if you a...

You know what I love about "falling" back an hour in the fall? I love that when I go to bed at 2am, it's now only 1am! You know what drives me nuts about the time change? Spending all day Sunday hearing people say, "It's 8:00 new time, but it's really 7:00 old time. No, wait, it's 9:00 old time."

There are 280 people in the US with my name, but aren't you glad there's just one ME?! HowManyOfMe.com There are: 280 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name? Thanks for this tidbit that I really needed to know, Thad!

Okay, so I didn't want to bring just plain carrots and dip to Little Chic's Halloween party. I was feeling a little out-done with all the super-cool moms in Brainy Boy's class who bring all these awesome creepy treats to his party. So I spotted this idea and decided to try it. The fingers actually grab you when you try to spoon out the dip. Heehee.

Little Chic is who I want to be when I grow up. She is the craftiest, project-iest, most creative dame to ever hit this part of the family. I'm such a wannabe that I'll choose all these projects and crafts to do, run around and get the supplies, lay them out to get started and promptly lose interest. Not so with my dearest little gal. She is 100% all-American artsy fartsy. She actually wanders around looking for projects to do and this time of the year is perfect for that craving of hers. I have to say that although I can't take credit for passing her the create-a-gene, I do supply lots of opportunities for her to hone her skills in that particular area. This particular run of creating started with her Cat-O-Lantern a couple of weeks back. I'm sorry to report that that project has now been relegated to the dumpster due to collapsing with rot. Little Chic progressed to her Siberian tiger costume she is making for Halloween (that will be featured when it's c...

The Good News: I'm not pregnant. That's according to the Flu Vaccine Research study that I joined today. Not that I thought I was pregnant, but they kindly informed me that I'm not anyway. I've noticed that whenever it is imperative that you not be pregnant for some reason (like beginning a new medication, or getting certain types of x-rays, etc.) women of child-bearing age will be asked if they are pregnant. If you reply to the negative, they will promptly do a pregnancy test. I suppose they figure your word is more reliable if you are in the family way. The Bad News: Looks like I'll be going to get that root canal after all. Dr. Miracle Worker's miracle filling isn't working out so well. The 75% better tooth has stayed that way and although it's not excruciating, 25% annoying is bound to get on my nerves since I've been putting up with this tooth for way too long. And believe me, whatever gets in the way of me eating my fall obsession (ca...

I just am totally loving my dentist today. I was a bit like a pig going to the...uh...pig heaven when I went to my 9am appointment expecting the worst. He had already warned me that a root canal would be in order. Now this dentist is actually one of the best I've ever been to. In addition to doing good work, he's also the fastest you've ever visited. There is no wait to get in and his procedures are always done before you've even settled into the chair. Even the shivers you get from the squealing drill barely get to your bone before he's ushering you out the door. Today was no different. I arrived at 8:50. I was in the chair by 8:55. I was out the door at 9:10. In that amount of time, numbed me up, drilled out my filling (which caused me to come only slightly unglued), determined that everything still looked healthy and did a trial run with some sort of desensitizing filling material. I call him on Thursday to let him know if it's working. I have to ...

Tomorrow I'm having my very first ever root canal. As a kid, I had several cavities around the 10-11 year age, but other than that, I've had pretty good teeth. I've been religious about going to the dentist even as an adult, and I've required little maintenance. I'm not sure if it's age or just the luck of the draw but for about a year, I've had a molar that is giving me trouble. It began when I had my dentist change out a silver filling for one of those pretty white ones. I quickly began to regret the vanity that prompted the switch because I noticed that cold and hot things really bothered that tooth. They said that white fillings tend to be more sensitive than gray ones, so I became loyal to Sensodyne. It didn't help. At all. Pretty soon it was any pressure (like chewing) that caused pain and eventually it even became sensitive enough that I can't brush it. After putting up with the aggravation for about a year, I went to see the dentis...

My kids happen to go to the school that is the arch rival of the high school Hero Guy attended as a teenager. Little Chic has always taken great pleasure in heckling Hero Guy about "her" school beating "his" school in football. As luck would have it, tonight they were playing against one another and we decided to attend our very first high school football game since our kids have been school-aged. Brainy Boy really cared nothing about going, but he went along with the idea after I bribed him by letting him bring a friend along. Little Chic was totally invested, as she really wanted to see her dad's team beat and besides, she is really into any kind of competition, no matter what the game. We met a couple of other families and sat in the bleachers until Little Chic realized that it was permissible to stand at the fence surrounding the football field. Once she became aware that she could be within touching distance of not only the life-sized tiger mascot but ...

I'm an English buff. In school, it was always my BEST, most favorite subject. I was one of the weirdos that loved diagraming sentences and I could always spell words that I didn't even know the definition for. As I've gotten older I've mellowed a bit, so rather than be a stickler for all things proper, I've joined the crowd in the casual grammar department. However I try not to sound like a total imbecile so I make a modest attempt to keep things the way they should be in regard to my language. When my dad sent me the following email, I thought it was a hoot. The sad part is, I have to work overtime to make sure my kids graduate knowing how to interpret this type of thing... You Think English is Easy??? Can you read these correctly the first time? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get...