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Pig Envy

Last weekend, Hero Guy worked as a medic at a local farm festival. During the daytime, I got a phone call from an extremely excited person blabbering on about the possibility of owning a piglet. Listening closely, I realized the fast-talking frenzy was coming from Hero Guy. Apparently the festival was holding an auction as one of the events and piglets were among the prized items for sale. Since they were small and young, they were going for quite the bargain.

Now being the animal lover that I am, I immediately envisioned having a little Wilbur of my own, training his pink cuteness to use a litter box, and running down to our brand new PetSmart to buy a dashing collar with matching leash. I even peered at the calendar making a mental note to call for a vet appointment for his first checkup. Imagine my horror when Hero Guy described the pig run he would erect in the back yard, explained how we could bring him into the garage during the particularly bitter winter we are bound to have, and how full our freezer would be once we, uummm...."send him away".

I began to rant that #1-we only buy bacon when we go camping, #2-I only cook pork chops once a week at most and #3-he might as well just plan on adding the dog and cat to his evil plans of harming our very beloved pets. He just didn't seem to follow the problem of nurturing and caring for a little creature, seeing it grow from a little baby to a sweet, affectionate PET and then sacrificing it to feed our family!! As a result, he decided against the bid, and I've been a little regretful ever since.

Now tonight, I get a cheerful email from Next-door Neighbor-friend who announces she has just acquired an adorable little black piglet that they have dubbed "Bacon". Apparently she doesn't share my disdain at consuming the very animal that falls alseep in your lap while you rub it's belly! I'm going to see it tomorrow and I'm formulating a plan on how I can contrive to have one of my very own. I'm pretty sure I can erode Hero Guy's determination to feed us with it, and we have a very convenient unfinished basement in which I can keep this little guy until he is housebroken. Who knew THAT would come in so handy?!

Comments

Unknown said…
I just adored Wilbur but nowadays I'm not so sure I would be up for such an arrangement.

I can't wait to hear how it goes. Cute pic by the way, he really melts my heart.
9/10/2006 8:33 PM
Marissa Kay said…
Jen- You are so funny! My suggestion is 2 pigs. One will not do well by itself. We raised 2 one time. Ken and Barbie. They were good in the freezer. I would love to see you put a collar on a piglet without sedating it. Let alone take it on a leash. oh, they are such cute critters when they are little critters.
9/10/2006 8:42 PM
PandaMom said…
I...I...I...I just don't even know how to respond to this one. I thought by living in Texas we did some far-out hick things, but seriously, is it common for New Yorkers to buy their own pigs and EAT them??? We tend to have cats, dogs, fish, maybe a hamster or a bird, but no "house-pigs"!! What the heck are you thinkin'? Please help me out on this one....Farmer Jen...; )
9/11/2006 6:47 AM
Anonymous said…
Unless you want your whole house to smell like a farm I would go for the pen outside idea - that is one smell you don't want in your house. My grandparents always had pigs on their farm and they are smelly! They are cute as piglets but not so much once they leave that stage - I don't think you will find it that hard to just see them as an animal once the piglet stage is gone. Good luck!
9/11/2006 11:21 AM
Anonymous said…
GAH! I'm with you. I'd rather eat my 17-year-old cat.
9/11/2006 12:19 PM
Mommy Spice said…
I'm totally with you on this. I have no problem eating meat. I know where it comes from, but I don't want anything to do with knowing the animal peronally. My husband has asked me several times to go hunting with him, and I say fine, but you can't kill anything.
9/11/2006 9:24 PM
Anonymous said…
Chris had a pet pig growing up named Arnold. He had it for awhile then a neighbor called on them and a farmer took him. I am sure he was bacon not to soon after.
My brother in law and sister in law had a pot belly pig and it was in their home. They trained it and it was one of the family. Did not smell. Kathy is the cleaniest person I know and that pig was a housepet, and very friendly. I think Nick was a baby then. I don't remember why they got rid of it........
~Sue
9/14/2006 10:35 AM
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