Thursday, September 14

Better You than Me

I just have to post an update. This family will not be getting a pig. I took my two offspring to see the little darling after school, and I was so excited as I pulled in the driveway in anticipation of seeing them want to pet the pig, want to hold the pig, want to carry the pig, want to own the pig. I am clueless as to why the first time I visited this little guy he had no smell. But today... well it was just indescribable-in the worst possible way you can imagine. This adorable little black piglet with the cutest pointed ears was having a case of the runs, which apparently is completely normal for pigs. The mess had just been cleaned up by Next-Door-Neighbor Friend and you couldn't see it anymore, but it was still there, in fumes. My kids would barely go near the crate and I thought Little Chic was going to throw up. After encouraging each of them to take a big breath and hold it, I finally coerced them each into giving it a quick pet. I had planned to come back later with the camera, getting lots of priceless photos of each of my kids holding this little creature, making over his sweetness and blowing up the prints to adorn their bedroom walls. We will not be doing a photo op. And I doubt we will be going back to visit him again except for one last time. That would be to undo all the hard work I did convincing Hero Guy that we really need one of our own. I'll be proving to him that in no way, shape or form will we be having that smell in our yard even if he promises to do all the work himself. I will be getting any and all pork products from the same tidy place that I've been getting them all along--the grocery store.

5 of Your THINKS:

Mary Ellen said...

That was a hilarious post - and now you know what I was talking about in my previous response. Hard to describe, must be experienced to believe right?!?!?! Zowwee! I think it's one of those smells that gets in your brain since as soon as you started talking about pigs, especially in the house, that was my first thought....THAT SMELL!! Glad you figured it out before you brought one of the little darlin's home. :-)

Panda-Mom said...

So glad to hear that Wilbur gets to stay at the farm (for awhile anyways) and you don't have to DIE of heart failure AFTER bringing him home only to find out about the horrific stench. All is well? Good. Now go buy some bacon at WalMart!

calhounfamily said...

I must respectfully disagree with some of the inuendo leveled at this confined creature. Having cared for a couple pigs while a pre-teen and carrying the stigma of being called pig-boy by brothers and sisters, I feel I have earned the right to comment in defense of this little porker.
Pigs are some of the cleanest animals if given the area to set up proper house-keeping. Unlike their canine, bovine, and equine friends, swine carefully choose an area out of the way in which to take care of domestic issues. Usually far from their food trough. I belive this little guy was maligned for circumstances far beyond his control. No doubt he was standing there embarrassed and devastated by his circumstances. Give some time for the air to clear and give him another chance. A chance to live and love and be loved.

Thad said...

New Business Plan:

Pig Boarding Kennel
- You buy the pig and take him to the boarding kennel
- Pay boarding fees for your pig to be fed, groomed, etc...
- Plan monthly visits to see your pig (in a clean room, of course)
- Once full grown, throw him in the freezer

James has a friend who has a pig. Maybe they would be willing to start up this little business!

amyb said...

Absolutely hilarious, however, tons of people have pet pigs so I can't believe they all have a horrific smell. I'm with Calhoun on this one!