Thursday, September 20

New Levels of Pathetic

In my OCD style, I've been watching the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic TV like a maniac. I don't know why I do this to myself, as if I don't have enough psychoanalyzing to do on the Short People in my life. Now DogSpot is subjected to my regular experimentation in the practices of studying dog behavior.

Since watching this new favorite show of mine, I've convinced myself that I need to take my proper place as the leader of my pack. DogSpot was vying for this position by jumping on the furniture, chewing on the kids and basically calling the shots around the homestead. In the last couple of weeks, I've been assertively claiming my territory. So far I have resisted peeing on the carpet but I am making her follow me in to and out of the house (rather than bolting in front to knock us all down) as well as taking her on walks with her heeling. Of course, she doesn't take to this at all since we have 2 acres where she to roams free.

After the most recent episode of my new fav show, I decided that DogSpot is not burning off enough energy during our walks and that is why she is not able to control her impulses at home. It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that she's a dog, she's just a bit ADD. The solution that I decided to try suggested that she needs a doggie backpack to give her a sense of purpose, or a job to do to earn her food. I went over to the local pet Stuffmart and came home with a little saddlebag looking contraption. I'm guessing she won't mind this much, since I often walk her with a harness when we're out and she's used to that. I'm gonna shed my own fanny pack (although truth be told, I could use a little extra fanny-burning power) and instead, let DogSpot carry her own poop bags. I might throw in a couple of water bottles and treats for good measure.

I fully anticipate that this approach will be successful, because I know my man, Cesar wouldn't let me down and it always works on his 60-minute shows. It's going to be a bit before I get to try it out though. Turns out the backpack needs to be a size smaller and I will exchange it tomorrow after our walk. Saturdays and Sundays don't usually bring dog walks, and on Monday she's going into the vet to have her reproductive organs unwired. We may be able to get one test drive in before her surgery. I am considering taking her into the pet store for the exchange-- when I was in there today, I had this urge to fit in like the other dog moms who tote their pooches into the store to show them off. But don't worry. I will not succumb to the peer pressure to adopt one of those kangaroo-style pouches or a canine stroller. Cesear just wouldn't approve. And I'm a pack leader now. And pack leaders don't carry their pack mates in pouches. Or push them in strollers. They just don't.

4 of Your THINKS:

Debbie said...

This was such a GREAT read!!! You'll have to post again to let us know how it works out.

Jenn Jones said...

You'll definitely need to post a picture!

Alexandria said...

What a neat idea!! Good luck with everything.

Xavier, our chihuahua, has been peeing in the house again. It's more of a jealousy thing towards DD who is 8.5 months old. It's annoying lol.

Melanie said...

Dottie has always been a bit ADHD too. I tried everything with her to help her get all of her energy out. (Although I never tried having her carry a backpack.)

The thing that ended up working- she got older and ran out of energy.