Monday, October 30

Wanted: Architect, No Experience Required

As Little Chic has been busy at work on all her projects, Brainy Boy has also been busy. This year he has blossomed into quite the accomplished writer as his teacher has been assigning one essay after another. He regularly reminds us that he is indeed pretty much the smartest kid in his class, proven because all the other kids tell him so. He also takes great pleasure in using vocabulary that no one else is familiar with. I take the responsibility to remind him periodically that there is no monopoly on genius and there is enough intelligence to go around for all of us. In any case, he continues to confound Hero Guy and I as to where his brains could have possibly come from. He's 10 and in 5th grade. Here's his most recent essay describing how to do something.

How to Build a Secret Underground Fort:
If you are reading this essay you are about to build the best underground fort ever. You might ask "Why do I want to build a secret underground fort? Well, if you are going to build something secret you're not going to build it out in the open. Or if you're trying to hide something you're not going to set it some place obvious are you? But now let's get something straight, this is going to be BIG and is going to cost a lot of money, so you have to know how to do it. Okay, with that said let's get to work.
First, we have to buy pipe, copper or PVC is good. This is for indoor plumbing which we will do later. To start the digging process, go rent a digger and dig a large tunnel. At the end of the tunnel create a catacomb, and underground room. Make sure the tunnel and the catacomb have structural integrity which means it will not cave in. To do this I recommend concrete and steel garters. Before the concrete hardens lay down piping for the indoor plumbing, also give the catacomb electricity by using wire. Now branch off more catacombs and give them indoor plumbing, electricity, and structural integrity. After that it's time to make smaller rooms, such as vaults, bathrooms, and several personal bedrooms.
Now for the main part! the central catacomb. This must be the biggest, make it about twice the size of the biggest of the others. All wiring will connect here. Also have computers, and monitoring equipment here. Now to put the barbed wire around the fort. Make sure the barbed wire is the twisty kind, it works better. After you finish doing that, start digging holes in some of the main rooms, ten should work. Turn these holes into tunnels. Make the walls strong enough to hold out, and then hide the tunnels behind something, such as a bookcase or a poster. Make sure to put a flash light near the tunnels so the people who will soon work there can escape quickly. Now you can furnish the fort with what ever needed.
Now you have a secret fort. You can use the fort for research, planning, a place of military operation, and maybe even a hidden passage from one point to another. Anyway now that you have read this essay you can start building.

The fact that he has never built a secret fort, or any structure for that matter, is a mere detail to Brainy Boy. His expertise apparently comes from all his books. Another positive note - low self-esteem is not one of his issues. He's a pretty funny kid, this boy of mine. He keeps us laughing with all his seriousness.

4 of Your THINKS:

Debbie said...

Hmmm, he's definitely thrown me for a loop. No wonder where he gets his name Brainy Boy, he truly is one, I'm impressed.

Mary Ellen said...

You might want to check around and see if there are any flashlights hidden near bookcases or posters. One of those cool places might be right in your own backyard and you don't even know it!?!?! :-)

As far as where he got his brains from, I know very well - there are many brainiacs on both sides of his parents families - and his parents aren't any dummies either!!!

Thad said...

Maybe for his next "how to" essay, you could convince him to write about remodeling a bathroom. I don't have much use for an underground fort but a remodeled bathroom could come in handy!

Janette said...

One of these days I'm sure I'll be reading one of his 'self-help' project books that I picked up at Lowe's, or maybe watching his latest project/show on HGTV.....